Budvarka

"All right, brain. I don't like you, and you don't like me. So let's just do this, and I'll get back to killing you with beer." Homer Simpson

I'll be honest at the risk of offending lovers of Czech cuisine. When someone tells me, a place does a great koleno (pork knee), I don't go rushing over to check it out.

I've eaten large quantities of Czech food over the years. But that's partly because I have also consumed large quantities of Czech beers over the years.

So when I agreed to meet a friend in Dejvice a couple of months ago, I chose Budvarka.Their yeast lager had been beckoning me to come for a long time. Finally, I got to try the Budvar kroužkovaný ležák (33 CZK).It's rare to find this beer on tap in Prague, and I'm not sure why.

I really loved its clean, crispy flavor. And there was something extra-fine about the carbonation. I was hooked.

Looking for an excuse to go back more recently, I found my inspiration in an entry on The Prague Post blog, which said the food was much improved from earlier years. And another friend told me he'd tried the koleno and duck and enjoyed it.

So I went with the English Patient and A Lady Friend. The interior was pleasant enough, with attractive wood-paneled ceilings and brass fixtures.There are separate smoking and non-smoking rooms.There is something of a standardized quality that gives it the look of a model for future franchises.

ALF started with a glass of hot wine (50 CZK). I thought it would be red, but they served the white variety.She said it was fine. EP and I started in on the kroužkovaný ležák.

ALF ordered a bowl of the zelňačka (38 CZK).The pork and cabbage soup was good, with nice chunks of ham, It was on the sour side. We both agreed we'd had better.

I got the venison pâté with basil pesto (75 CZK).The chopped liver had a dry, grainy texture. It crumbled and was hard to spread on the ordinary, boring white toast. The only thing that livened it up at all was the jarred cranberry compote from on the side.

For a main course, EP had the Cmunda po Kaplicku or Kaplice-style potato pancake (110 CZK).The pancake itself was thin and very dry. Oddly, even the sauerkraut filling had a dryness to it.

But there was one positive note. There was a generous amount of good-quality smoked pork.Overall, neither of us liked this dish.

ALF tried the ginger chicken wings (125 CZK).The unseparated wings, with the tips on, were cooked competently. They had a crunchy skin with juicy meat underneath.

The flavor was less pleasing. I didn't taste ginger. ALF said it reminded her of "UHO." The acronym stands for "univerzální hnědá omáčka," which translates as "universal brown sauce." We didn't like it.

I felt guilty for not following the recommendations on the duck or koleno, but I didn't want those. I ordered the krkovička or grilled pork neck (145 CZK). It was served under a goulash sauce with batter-fried onions on the side.I've had some wonderful, juicy, tender, tasty pork necks in my day. This was not one of them. Under that salty sauce, the meat was tough and hard to cut. The onions were dried out and not hot.

The only thing I liked was the warm, toasted mini-loaf of Czech bread that came on the side.I enjoyed dipping it in the sauce, but I didn't need that much bread.

At the end of the meal, we got to talking, story-telling, and laughing, and EP decided we needed some Becherovka shots (35 CZK each). I tried and failed to talk him out of it.And then he ordered another round. And then another.

In total, I think we had 7 shots and 7 beers between us. But it could have been more. I believe but cannot confirm that I lost one of the tabs.

The bill for the three of us, including the drinks that I can document, was 1104 CZK. Basically, the food was cheap, and the quality was low.

I felt very bad the next day. I remembered why I generally swore off Becherovka a long time ago.

But through my headache haze, I decided I'd be happy to return to Budvarka for the beer. It'd be the best way to kill my memories of the food.

Original pivnice Budvarka
Wuchterlova 22
Prague 6 - Dejvice
Tel: (+420) 222 960 820

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Crazy Cow Steakhouse

"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy, and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too." Rodney Dangerfield

I love a good steak, but there aren't all that many I go chasing after in Prague.

Sure, I've had terrific steaks at La Casa Argentina, La Bodeguita del Medio, La Finestra in Cucina, and even Rocky O'Reilly's. But either the atmosphere, the service, or both at these places has put me off making regular visits.

In recent years, we've most often gone for the rib eye at El Barrio de Angel. The service can be spotty, but it's not a bad looking spot in a big, brick-walled cellar. Plus, the smoky, tender beef was reasonably priced.

To make it one of my favorites, the beef should be imported, preferably from South America. And it should have a good char on it, usually from a flame grill.

I'd heard reports over the years that Crazy Cow Steakhouse near Old Town Square did great steaks.I finally got around to checking it out for myself.

V and I trudged in on a snowy weekend afternoon. We sat in the small, brightly lit street-level dining area.There's a hodgepodge of North and South Americana kitsch on the walls, but it was still lacking, atmosphere-wise.

The restaurant has a bigger and more appealing dining room upstairs, but we didn't see that until later in the meal.I ordered a half-liter of Budvar (49 CZK). It tasted fine. V had a .2 liter glass of Moravian red wine (50 CZK).They served Bonaqua sparkling water in a tiny .25 liter bottle with a big price (39 CZK).

Aside from squeezing out extra profit, I've never understood why any restaurant would serve this boring stuff instead of Mattoni, which comes in .33 liter bottles.

V got the 300 gram rib eye with fried onions (360 CZK).You should note that the on-line menu prices were not up to date as I write this.

Side items were extra, but the onions with it were great -- sweet and crunchy. We didn't really care for the butter on top or the shredded, pickled cabbage on the side.

However, the meat was the star. The delicious beef was tender, juicy, and smoky.It just needed an extra shot of salt, and then everything was right with this beef.

V went so far as to say that she thought it was better than her favorite steak at El Barrio de Angel. I took a bite and thought they were at least equally good. They are close to the same price.

I decided to try the Crazy Cow burger. It's normally 139 CZK, but it was just 99 CZK as a lunch special.This burger had potential, but they killed it.

The quality of the meat itself was good. But it was salty, over-seasoned, and overcooked. I don't like raw red and green peppers on my burgers, but those were easily removed.

I'm not a big mustard on burgers fan, and unfortunately, that was not possible to take off. The top of the bun was soaked in a watery red sauce. The parts of the bread that weren't waterlogged were so dry that they cracked apart in my hands.

I wasn't in the mood for fries, so I ordered an appetizer of fried jalapenos filled with cheddar as a side dish.I was disappointed that I received only four of them for the price of 120 CZK. And these pickled peppers were surprisingly bland. They were not made in-house.

I've seen freezer bags of identical fried peppers at Makro, and you can get a plate of four of the same at a restaurant across the street for 90 CZK.

I decided to return a week later with my friend, Flash. We wanted to eat upstairs in the nicer room, but I was told it was completely booked for a party.On this visit, I got a half-liter bottle of Budvar dark beer (49 CZK). I actually preferred its rich caramel flavor to the draft lager.Flash got the Sante Fe chicken breast (165 CZK). On the side, he had the farmers potatoes, which were steak fries absolutely smothered in bacon, onion, and garlic (59 CZK).The problem here was that neither of us could figure out what made this chicken "Sante Fe."

There wasn't much discernable seasoning. It did pick up some nice flavor from the grill. But unfortunately, the meat dried out on there. It came with vegetables like broccoli, corn, and carrots that looked like they came from a freezer bag. They did not complement the chicken in any way.

I ordered the 200 gram Desperado steak (229 CZK). The Argentinian beef rested on a tangy mix of red beans, garlic, onions, chili peppers, and ketchup. It may look quite small, but the meat was dense and rich. It was quite filling. This beef was not as tender as the rib eye, but it was well-seasoned, the flavor was all there, and it was perfectly cooked.

The steak fries were hot and crunchy on the outside, while light and fluffy inside. They put a massive pile of them on the plate. I couldn't finish them all.

During our beef-centered discussion, Flash told me that the steaks at Kozička down the street are excellent. I had a bite of a friend's later in the evening.It was juicy and peppery, but the chewy, overcooked meat didn't thrill me. I wouldn't rate it so highly.

However, I can recommend Potrafena Husa's flank steak (247 CZK), which I had the other day. It is a new item on the menu at the Vinohradska restaurant.

Getting back to Crazy Cow, the bill for the first visit was 767 CZK. The tab for the second trip was 600 CZK.

For some reason, when the two Americans dined together, a stamp was added to the bottom of the receipt and a 10 percent service charge was added. This did not happen when one of the diners was Czech.

My assessment: Crazy Cow Steakhouse serves great steaks at good prices.

It's a decent option if you are in the tourist center and craving quality beef, fried potatoes, and a beer.

If you want a second opinion, I'll tell you it's pretty ugly if you want something else.

Crazy Cow Steakhouse
Dlouhá 8
Prague 1
Tel. (+420) 222 310 018

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Café Bar Wigwam

“While living I want to live well.” Geronimo

Every week for years, I've been going to the same restaurant/pub in Malá strana to meet a group of friends. While it is far from perfect, Café Bar Wigwam fills the most of my group's requirements of all the establishments in the area.It serves Budvar, which is 32 CZK for a half-liter of 10° and 35 CZK for 12°.This is acceptable and agreeable for those with prohibitions against Staropramen beers.

The place also keeps relatively late hours -- it is open until 1 a.m. every night but Sunday.And it has a non-standard pub menu, serving what I call Czech International Interpretative.

For a long time, the interior design was devoted to essentially Central and South American Indian culture or perhaps even African, rather than that which relates to the type of Indians who lived in actual wigwams.Quite amusing. But this changed after a recent interior update that saw the addition of some North American Indian photos, along with heavier chairs and tables. I like the way the place looks.Sometimes every table is taken. Sometimes the place is sparsely populated. I once asked the barman why it was so full on some weeks and not others.

"I have no idea," he said. "If you find out, let me know."

What is certain is that if the restaurant is full, smoke will get in your eyes. The place is not too well ventilated and the clouds really hang in the air, especially in winter. The eclectic classic rock/disco they always play can get a little tiresome after you've heard it a few times.

The most ordered meal among all my friends is some variation of the hamburger. They recently started offering the jalapeno burger, which everyone gets (135 CZK). It comes with steak fries.Now if you read my review of the hamburgers I've eaten in in Prague, you'd know I have a love-hate relationship with this one. Currently, I'm in a hate phase. The meat is always cooked completely through, it is crumbly, it has an odd seasoning I can't quite place, and the bun is small and disintegrates.

The fries are large and look good, but they have a somewhat chewy rather than crispy texture. The jalapenos themselves are the best part -- whole sliced peppers across the top. Just keep in mind that all my friends keep ordering it every week and think I'm too hard on the poor burger.

Oddly, on a number of weeks, they have run out of them. They also do a chicken burger, which is just OK (125 CZK).But I suggest you avoid the pork neck burger (125 CZK). It comes with Niva cheese and Dijon dressing, a combination I find quite awful.

So, I've been trying a number of other dishes. Recently, I had the pork ribs (125 CZK).These were fairly tired and dried out, but not past the point of acceptability. There was a sweet, tangy sauce, and it came with a baguette. I'd rank them pretty low on my Prague rib scale. That said, I'd probably get them again over the burger.

One of the favorites among my group is the Mat Saman Curry (145 CZK).This is an approximation of red curry chicken. It's nothing like an authentic recipe, but it is one of the best things they do. The coconut milk sauce is very thick and on the sweet side. Green and red peppers are mixed in along with onions. The portion is large and comes with a big plate of rice.

Curiosity got the better of me and I ordered a recent addition to the menu, the chicken yakitori (145 CZK). I could see no evidence it was grilled over a fire.It was much more like a Czech version of Chicken Satay, served on popsicle sticks. The tender meat tasted of coconut and fresh ginger. The sauce was basically Thai chili sauce mixed with ketchup. So, yeah, it's not real ethnic cuisine, but then again, I prefer it over typical Czech pub grub. Once a week, anyway.

One of the biggest losers on the menu is the fried chicken in a tortilla (130 CZK).I suppose it resembles a KFC Twister, but those are much better. The chicken was overcooked, and all the fried coating fell off and mixed with the iceberg lettuce in the tortilla.It was a mess and did not taste good.

The penne with mushroom, olive, chicken, and Parmesan is a better choice (95 CZK).The sauce could be creamier, but it does have a nice mushroom flavor, and they are generous with the shaved Parmesan.

To sum up, Wigwam is a decent place to go for a generally young crowd, inconsistent, quirky, occasionally decent food, and quite good prices. The staff is very friendly -- once they get to know you.

And they serve my current drink of choice, hruškovice (45 CZK) or pear brandy, in chilled shot glasses.

When I'm out with my friends, I don't need much more to live well.

Café Bar Wigwam
Zborovská 54
Prague 5 - Malá strana
Tel. (+420) 257 311 707

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Červená Tabulka

"Competition is a sin." John D. Rockefeller

We always have a little competition when we go out to eat. Whoever orders the best dish in each course, wins.

The prize is obvious, though we do end up sharing most dishes. Of course, there are bragging rights. Don't underestimate the importance of those.

V will readily admit, I usually win. I have a good eye for reading between the lines of menu descriptions, and a good sense for what a restaurant's strengths might be.

But not always.

The other night, we took our moveable contest to Červená Tabulka. After some debate with Czech speakers, I'll go with translating that as the Red Slate (if you have a better suggestion, feel free to let me know).

I'd heard a few recommendations for the restaurant over the years.It's at the end of a street between Náměstí Republky and Florence.

The restaurant has a cozy courtyard for outdoor dining.It was a warm summer evening, so we decided to eat out there. Only a couple of other tables were occupied.The restaurant's interior didn't grab me so much.The chrome-backed chairs and the murals on the walls were not so appealing. The design felt somewhat confused.We received a bread basket and butter mixed with leeks (they could have been chives). The bread was a bit hard, but the bread sticks were nice.The waiter brought out an amuse bouche -- a very small cup of lobster bisque.It was excellent. Very creamy, it was the most lobster-like version I can remember.

For the first course, I had the scallops marinated in red beet juice with a light field salad and orange-dill sauce (190 CZK).The very thinly-sliced, raw scallops with the red accents certainly were pretty on the plate. The salad had rucola and mache. The dressing, pooled at the bottom of the bowl, was sweet and tart and the dill was assertive.

I do wish the scallops made more of statement besides good looks. The texture and freshness were fine, yet they didn't add much flavor. Scallops are not cheap, but I judged it a rather expensive and insubstantial salad.

V ordered the "sea fruit" selection (220 CZK). It consisted of grilled octopus, a scallop, squid with fish sauce, and vegetables. The scallop was mentioned in the Czech menu, but not in the English version.The octopus and squid were very tender on the inside and just lightly chewy on the outside. They were very different from the tough, but tasty grilled ones we had recently in Greece. The scallop was fine.

There were carrots and celery root that had absorbed some wonderful flavors.

The sauce was amazing. Thick and creamy. I asked the waiter what was in it, but unfortunately, his description was more comical than useful. Something about seafood being cooked in the pan and saving the juices. That's about all I could understand.

But, no question, V won Round 1.

For drinks, I had a couple of Budvars (40 CZK each).

V had four glasses of Sauvignon (55 CZK). There aren't many wines by the glass and the wine list is on the expensive side. She had only planned on three glasses, but the waiter brought a fourth by mistake. He was going to take it back, but told him not to worry about it.

We also had three bottles of Mattoni sparkling water (35 CZK each).

There was a second amuse bouche between the courses.It was a sorbet made with mint, lemon, possibly lime, and mint. Very refreshing. A nice palate cleanser.

For a main course, I decided on the confit of beef sirloin with potato purée and baby carrot (420 CZK).The beef had been cooked long and slow, like a ragout. It was reminiscent of a hearty stew. The potatoes were just right, and the carrots had a nice little crunch.

It was OK. I'm sure a fair amount of effort went into making it. But the very filling dish did taste like rather ordinary comfort food, and I didn't feel it was worth the big price.

V went for the lamb saddle with smoked Grenaille potatoes, tomatoes, and capers with mustard sauce (420 CZK).It was terrific and a very generous serving, with six bones. At many top end restaurants these days, you'd get less lamb for the money. The meat was well-seasoned, very tender, and delicious.

The cream-based mustard sauce worked well. The small tomatoes were cooked to softness.

The potatoes had an intense, smoky flavor. They tasted quite similar to some hickory-smoked barbecue sauce I brought over from the USA (I'm not sure how they achieved that flavor).

The total bill was a fairly steep 1655 CZK. I'd go back for some of the dishes. Just not mine.

Which probably tells you how I did in Round 2.

No contest. I lost.

V had a very big smile. She is so competitive, it reminded me of what Lao Tzu once said about relationships:

"Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins."

Červená Tabulka
Lodecká 4
Prague 1
Tel. (+420) 224 810 401


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