"Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess." - Oscar Wilde
When we last left our story's four insatiable adventurers, they were having beers, burgers, and a chimichanga in the Wild West Show scene at
Buffalo Bill's.
For most, this would be enough. For us, the saga continued.
It turned into an unexpectedly long night of wide-ranging social intercourse and eclectic eating, liberally stimulated by the liberating effects of drink.
I was with the Michigan Man, the English Editor, and of course, the lovely and charming V. EE suggested
Kávovarna, just off Wenceslas Square.
Off we went.
It is in the
Palác Lucerna, which has an interesting history.
It was built by a man named Vácslav Havel, the grandfather of former Czech president Václav Havel.
The first section of the arcade opened in 1907 and it was it was finished in 1921.
A more recent addition was the David Černý sculpture hanging from the ceiling.
It is a comic reinterpretation of the statue that dominates the square outside.
St. Wenceslas is riding his horse, but in Černý's version, the horse is hanging upside down.
Love it.
We entered this often crowded, smoky establishment and got a table and stools by the window looking out into the arcade. But the view can be interesting in any direction.
This cafe is great for people watching, inside or out, which is the attraction of this place for some.
There were tables "outside" in the passage for people who want a little less noise and smoke, though it's too cold to sit out there in the winter.
There was also a non-smoking room inside.
It can get a little noisy, and the chairs are nothing to write home about. But there are other attractions.
Kávovarna, along with the rest
Palác Lucerna, retains the patina of the past. It isn't fancy, but it has the charm of unprimped age that Nouveau Retro establishments can only aspire to attain.
During our visit, we started with half-liters of
Pilsner Urquell (35 CZK). They also have
Litovel dark beer for the same price.
There sell
Hoegaarden,
Guinness,
Stella, and
Leffe Brune in small bottles.
Bottles of red and white wine were available at 180 CZK to 550 CZK, with selections from the Czech Republic, France, Spain, and Chile.
Other alcohol-based drinks could be had, but what was interesting was the extensive non-alcoholic drink section of the menu.
Sure, you can get your basic cappuccinos or espressos at this cafe.
But there were many other more creative options that were made at a separate coffee bar. There were a large variety of flavored syrups on display.
On separate visit, I wanted to try a coffee, but I decided to keep things relatively simple. I ordered the Vanilla Royale Iced Coffee (54 CZK).
I really liked it.
Maybe you could take or leave the huge amount of whipped cream and the cherry. But it had a good coffee kick, and the syrup gave it just a touch of sweetness.
It beat the pants off the two different iced coffees I tried at Prague's new
Starbucks. Those were truly awful.
At the global chain's outlet at Malostranské námestí, I had an iced Americano on one visit and an iced cafe latte on another.
One was way too watery. The other was way too milky. And they cost almost twice as much for a serving of approximately the same size.
Coffee Heaven is also in
Palác Lucerna. It has more comfortable chairs, but it is also quite expensive.
At
Kávovarna, without any extra cost, you can go wild with the syrups.
For example, they offered an iced Black Forest Mocha. It had chocolate, cherry, and coconut syrup, whipped cream, and chocolate shavings in a half-liter glass.
I doubt I'll ever try that.
Or an Iced Banana Split Cappuccino. Or a Hazelnut Decadence Iced Latte. Or a Double Decadence Delight, which has creme caramel syrup and chopped walnuts.
The cost for all are the same -- for your wallet or purse, anyway.
If coffee is not your thing, you can have a hot chocolate flavored with peppermint, raspberry or any other syrup. The even have sugar-free flavors.
There were syrup-flavored sodas (44 CZK) and even granitas (39 CZK).
But enough about the drinks. Let's jump back in time to our over-the-top evening adventure and talk about the limited food options.
I'd had a good memory of the spicy sausages with mustard and horseradish (45 CZK). I'd tried them a year earlier.
This year, they looked slightly different (I have pictures of last year's, too). I didn't like these so much.
They were not the type you usually find around town. They were more pepperoni-like.
Which I like.
But they were also extremely greasy and a tough to chew, unlike last year. We didn't feel like finishing them.
We also ordered the traditional cheese with green olives for 48 crowns.
It was a fairly boring cheese, enlivened by slightly creative presentation.
There are several kinds of nuts, including cashews, for around 40 CZK. Don't come to this place expecting a serious meal.
Like me, V is very curious about trying different foods. She saw some Czech cheese cake,
tvarohový dort.
It's similar to an American version, but it has raisins and is a bit more crumbly. We enjoyed it.
They also sell chocolate pralines with different fillings. V is always pushing the eating experience envelope, so four of them suddenly appeared on our table.
I tried most of them. Some I liked, some I didn't.
Don't ask me me which ones. At this point, the memory gets hazy. When we got the bill, it showed 18 beers for the four of us.
Spreading them out over four hours certainly helped lessen the intoxicating blow.
The effects of the alcohol were also blunted by the Tex-Mex meal, greasy sausages, olives, cheese, cheesecake, and chocolates.
It's not a pretty list.
You might call it excessive.
But, we all thought it added up to an unplanned and unexpectedly successful evening.
Oscar would be proud.
Kávovarna at Palác Lucerna
Štěpánská 61
Prague 1 - Wenceslas Square
Tel. (+420) 296 236 233
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Summary only
I used to stop by at the stroke of 8:00 a.m. a couple of times a week and pick up a warm pain au chocolate, fresh from the oven. Or a croissant filled with vanilla cream. Or a chocolate cookie. Or all of them.
But as the sweet proprietor, Nadine Musso, told me, things weren't working out there.
It is just off Wenceslas Square, in Lucerna's Dům U Nováků.
The easiest way to find it is from the entrance on Vodičkova. From that side, you can see the cafe's Art Deco exterior.
The good news is that all the French-style cakes and pastries are just the same as they were before.
Personally, I'm partial for anything with chocolate. Or creams. Or custards.
They have whole cakes, as well. They really are edible works of art.
Things can get a little nutty - I've heard a few people raving about these sweets.
Getting back to chocolate, they still make their own special bon bons.
They also do special holiday chocolates -- I saw specially designed eggs for Easter. Some of the creations have plenty of kid appeal -- as if the chocolate alone is not enough.
Speaking of kid appeal, M. Musso makes the chocolates on the premises and you can see him at work through the glass walls.
He wasn't producing any while I was there, but I'm sure it's fun to watch.
I think the new, central location, with a lot of foot traffic, will work out much better for them.
